Thousands of lies to avoid doing homework.

What should parents do?

https://www.shutterstock.com/zh/image-photo/asian-pretty-girl-child-on-idea-652397980

Written by: Family Dynamics, Psychological Counselor, Lai Shun Mei

Every time a child does homework, he or she falsely claims to have a stomachache, to go   to the bathroom, or to go to sleep—thousands of lies and excuses. Parents who value character development are naturally outraged because they have zero tolerance for  dishonesty in their children. But why do children always avoid doing their homework? Why do they have to lie to cover it up?

Often, children avoid doing homework not because they don’t want to, but because they     can’t. Children want to be good and smart, but when they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. When they find out they can’t do their  homework, they think they are not smart enough. They can’t accept this and will lie to   cover it up and avoid it. Generally speaking, children with normal intelligence but learning disabilities will have their academic performance affected to some degree, but they can      perform well in other areas as well. Regardless of their intelligence level, with the right  approach and the right amount of training, they will be able to develop the appropriate      skills.

https://www.shutterstock.com/zh/image-photo/schoolboy-disliking-bad-figures-93815359

But why do people tell lies? When a person feels that he or she is in an uncomfortable  situation, he or she will activate the defense mechanism to protect himself or herself. Lying is one of the ways to escape a crisis. If parents want to help their children, they need to give them the courage to tell the truth so that they can understand what their children really don’t understand.

How do you get your child to be brave enough to tell the truth? You need to let your child know that even if he or she is not smart enough, you will still love him or her so much, take pleasure in him or her, be patient with him or her, and work together to help him or  her solve their problems, thus building his or her sense of security and giving him or her    the peace of mind to reveal his or her innermost doubts and difficulties. But on the contrary, if his experience makes him think that he is not smart enough, which will lead to his mother’s anger and complaints, he will not dare to tell the truth and even activate his  self-protection mechanism to protect himself with lies that adults can uncover at first  glance.

https://www.shutterstock.com/zh/image-photo/young-asian-preteen-teenager-boy-showing-1487363702

Not only will the child be unable to protect himself, but he will also get into more trouble  because the mother will be rehabilitated and will admit her fault and promise not to lie again. But in fact, his homework difficulties are not solved, creating a vicious cycle. Therefore, we encourage parents to learn to accept their children’s shortcomings so that  they will have confidence in you and feel safe to open up to you.

This site is registered on wpml.org as a development site.